When last we saw Silver, he watchedTig the Dog hightail it into the laundry room, with Squirrel the Cat not far behind. He'd scoped out the door, looking through legs of furniture and then went back to the Tootsie Pop.
Suddenly Tig and Squirrel come racing out of the laundry room, cross the second parlor, return...
Concerned. Silver dumps the Tootsie Pop, says "Go merde", takes two steps back and poops before turning to make his escape.
Okay, let me explain the Go Merde. This is a two parter.
First off as most of you know who watch birds, a bird who feels threatened, will quickly defecate in the midst of rapidly flying away from danger. It is thought that this automatic impulse makes them lighter and therefore quicker to take flight
Second when Silver was a few months old and I was potty training him, i.e. to defecate on command, I was working with P.D.Q. Bach, a classical music live stage show with orchestra. Now actors (and trained biologists) like myself say Break a Leg before a show which means good luck which you can't say to people as that would be bad luck. Musicians have the same problem but their solution is to say Merde, which translates to "sh*t in French, to each other rather than blowing everything by wishing Good Luck.
Therefore instead of teaching Silver to defecate by saying "Go poop" or "go potty" or "do your business" or other kinds of possible babyish cues, I thought it more discreet to say "Go merde".
Therefore Silver, when he feels jeopardized and feels the need to take flight or run, and of course defecate beforehand as that's wired in, he now says "Go merde" to himself.
If you look carefully just to the right of his right primaries you will see a trace of green merde on the floor.
Having gone merde, Silver starts hotfooting it toward the bed in order to get under it before possibly being accidentally mowed down by marauding mammals.
The furry guys race toward the other side of the house. Silver stops. Listens. And realizes he has sucker paper stuck to his beak.
Silver walks over to the tissue box and attempts to rub the stuck paper off. No good.
But as the box is right there...
He can't resist taking a bite out of it though he knows full well he isn't supposed to be doing it.
SILVER!
What? I was just getting that sucker paper off my beak.
Right. So why is there cardboard in your beak now?
What cardboard? Just taking a walk. Ah....
Checking for the cat and dog?
Too be continued...
Donegal Browne
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